Even if someone broadcasts all kinds of unpleasant remarks about you throughout the three thousand worlds, in return, with a loving mind, speak of his good qualities. This is the practice of Bodhisattvas. 

One of our biggest attachments is our reputation. If somebody broadcasts one tiny unpleasant remark about us to the cat, we get completely freaked out and angry. Even yogis living in caves can get hooked on their reputation amongst town people as great renunciants and meditators. Attachment to reputation can become a big problem for us, and the greater it is, the more bent out of shape we get when other people do not agree with how wonderful we think we are. If somebody broadcasts unpleasant remarks about us, we want to trash them in return to anyone who will listen, instead of doing the exact opposite. 

We take out our file of all their faults that we have been saving up and give them all kinds of negative psychological diagnoses. All this is driven by our self-grasping which needs to protect the “I” from any kind of criticism. We get so bent out of shape because we have become very dependent on other people to tell us who we are. We did not have much discriminating wisdom when we were kids and believed all kinds of information people gave us about ourselves. Some of these messages were not correct, so we need to sort through them as adults and let go of false ones. When we are better able to assess our own strengths and weaknesses, what other people say will not hit us as strongly. We will also know if we are acting properly by checking our motivations. 

The goal is to have space in our minds so that we are not so defensive about every tiny comment people make about us and can appreciate others’ good qualities despite their faults. We will be more likely to try and work things out with whoever criticises us instead of never speaking to them again. And we do not talk about their good qualities just because we are Dharma practitioners, but because we have transformed our minds and can actually see some good qualities to speak of. 

“365 Gems of Wisdom” First Volume (January — March) e-book is out now!