We are born alone. Even if we have twins or triplets, even if we live our whole lives surrounded by other living beings who promise never to abandon us, can they fulfil that promise? We are born alone, and we will die alone. Even if everybody dies together at the same time, each of us has our individual experiences. Nobody else can and is able to really share our dying experience.

Not only are we born and die alone, but our friends and relations are also unreliable, aren’t they? They are lovely people and they promise all sorts of things, but can they fulfil those promises? How can they fulfil those promises when they are impermanent, and under the influence of afflictions and karma? People promise to protect us from mental pain, “I’m going to love and support you forever.” But do they? Their minds go up and down because they are under the influence of afflictions. One moment, they like us; the next moment, they can get mad at us. One moment, they want to always be with us; the next moment, they never want to have anything to do with us.

We may even have a bodyguard who tells us, “I’m going to protect you from anybody who tries to hurt you,” but how can they protect us from suffering when they cannot even protect their own body from injury and death since all living beings can be easily injured.

When we read people’s biographies, it is very interesting. Some people start with horrible circumstances when they are young, but when old, they have a very nice life. Conversely, other people start with a wonderful life when they are young, and as they age, negative karma ripens, and they experience a lot of pain and suffering. This makes me think of the Chinese aristocrats before the communist revolution and the Cultural Revolution, who wound up being imprisoned, beaten, and tortured simply because they were from the upper classes. Nobody saw this coming. Nobody could have said when somebody was born, “You know, you are going to be imprisoned by the time you’re 40 years old and tortured.”

All these things are controlled by other conditions, they are not self-generated things that we have control over. The mind changes. Karma changes. The only real protection in all of this is our Dharma practice, because who knows what we will wind up experiencing in this life? To have that Dharma practice we must hear teachings, reflect on them, meditate on them, and integrate them into our minds. If we do that, then these things need not be situations of great suffering. We have something we can do to transform them. 

“365 Gems of Wisdom” First Volume (January — March) e-book is out now!