All suffering comes from the wish for your own happiness. Perfect Buddhas are born from the thought to help others. Therefore, exchange your happiness for the suffering of others. This is the practice of Bodhisattvas. 

The self-centred mind thinks its happiness and suffering are more important than everybody else’s, and that everyone has been put on the planet to serve it. Conflict inevitably occurs because everyone has this same thought! The self-centred mind is what tries to get everyone to side with us against somebody we do not like; it is what seeks revenge, gets jealous, and is easily offended. We are very unhappy when the self-centred mind is active on a day-to-day basis and it leads us to create much negative karma through committing the ten non-virtuous actions of killing, stealing, unwise sexual conduct, lying, divisive speech, harsh speech, idle talk, coveting, malicious thoughts, and wrong views. It is essential that we realise we are not our self-centred thoughts and abandon them as soon as we identify them. 

The bodhicitta motivation is what pushes a Bodhisattva to keep meditating and accumulating the vast store of merit that is necessary to become a fully awakened Buddha. We need to be able to discern our motivation for helping others, which should be ensuring their happiness instead of pitying them or wanting to get something from them. 

The taking-and-giving meditation of tonglen is based on exchanging self and others. This involves shifting the basis of the “I” in “I want happiness” to all other sentient beings and shifting the “you” in “You are less important” to ourselves. 

We imagine breathing in others’ suffering, which turns into a lightning bolt and bombards the wall of self-centredness around our hearts until it is completely demolished. At this point, we no longer suffer from self-centredness or self-grasping, and other sentient beings no longer suffer the results of their January | 47 karma or afflictions. From within that open space in our heart, we imagine multiplying our body, possessions, and virtues, and radiating them as light to others. These gifts become the physical and mental circumstances required for other sentient beings to meet the Dharma and attain awakening. Keep focusing on compassion, giving, and love. Practising well helps us to generate the mind of bodhicitta. 

“365 Gems of Wisdom” First Volume (January — March) e-book is out now!