When we talk about repaying the kindness of others, it is easy to get confused in terms of, “How exactly do I do that? Does that mean I have to be everything everybody wants me to be and make them happy?” 

No. Repaying kindness does not mean we become a people-pleaser. It does not mean that we try and squeeze ourselves so that we become what others think we should be. That is just crazy, and that is not being ourselves. 

Repaying kindness means opening our hearts to see that other people are just like us; they have feelings like us, they want happiness and they do not want to suffer. And, in situations when we can be of direct benefit, we act without any kind of impediment on our side. 

But sometimes we see somebody who needs help, and we go, “No. I’d better not. What are others going to think of me?” or “Eew, that’s dirty!” or “That person is beneath me. I shouldn’t help him.” There are lots of things preventing us from engaging on our end. Let us free ourselves from all these things so we are open and can reciprocate with kindness when there is the opportunity to do so and let us train our minds to do this spontaneously. 

Even at times when there is nothing much we can do to help others who are suffering, or who are going down a wrong path and doing harmful things, we can still hold the thought in our mind that we want to be of benefit. 

If we get discouraged and fed up and think, “I’m not going to benefit you,” then, when they change, there is not much opportunity to help anymore. The door is closed. Sometimes we need to accept people for where they are in their lives and that they are not so receptive to our help. But, things change, so we keep the door open on our side. 

We cultivate love and compassion for other living beings, regardless of whether 26 | January they listen to our advice or not, and whether they are what we want them to be or not. The element of acceptance is important. Otherwise, we are always going to be battling everybody and saying, “You need to be what I want you to be!” That is a dead end. We cannot even control our minds. How do we think we are going to make somebody else change? We have got to work on ourselves first. 

“365 Gems of Wisdom” First Volume (January — March) e-book is out now!