August 9 : What Do I Mean When I Say…
You say, “I’m mad.” How do I know I am mad? I say, “Oh, I’m really angry.” How do I know I am angry? What data, physical and mental basis of designation is “anger”? What is going on in your body? What is going on in your mind? What is the flavour or tune of your mind? Look at all the different factors on which we say “anger”. Are any of those in and of themselves anger? No.
On top of that, you say, “I’m angry.” Who is the “I” that is angry? Are you anger? Or do you have anger? Because “I’m angry” is neither of them. When you say, “I’m angry.” I have anger, so are the “I” and the “anger” separate? Or, are the “I” and the “anger” in a union? Is it either of those? What is this “anger” anyway? Do not think about whatever incident it was, just focus on your experience.
You can do this for many different experiences that you have during the day. “I’m sleepy”, “I’m angry”, “I’m attached”, “I’m daydreaming”…. Whatever it is, look at the basis of designation. It is quite interesting. This is the basis of designation, there is the object designated, but that object designated is not the same as the basis of designation.
Saying, “My stomach hurts,” and, “My heart is beating fast,” is different from saying, “I’m angry,” or, “I have this particular mood in my mind.” Get in touch with that mood, that feeling, and see what are the mental sensation and that mental experience and why do we call that “anger”?
It is interesting to do some exploration this way. It leads you into understanding emptiness and dependent arising. It also helps us release some of our incredible tightness about what we happen to be feeling that day.
You know how it is when you wake up and you say, “I feel tired.” That gives you a completely blank check for the whole day to sign out. I do not have to try to do anything today because I told myself I am tired. I cannot do anything today. Same when we say, “I’m angry.” Instead, if we really ponder, “What do I mean when I say those words?” We start to see the whole build-up of lots of stuff in our minds.
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