Causing disharmony with our speech is telling one person what another person said to create friction between them. What you say can be true or it can be false. If it is false, it is also lying. But even if it is true, if you say it with the intention of splitting these people up, then it becomes very destructive.

This happens quite frequently in workplaces. Maybe we are jealous of somebody else, we want the promotion, we want the praise, or we think we should get the recognition and not them. So, we tell bad stories about the person that we are jealous of with hopes that people would not like that person and will think badly of him, maybe even fire him. Then we will get the position, or we will get the promotion.

It can also happen in relationships. You marry into a family and you are jealous of one of the relatives because he has more influence over your spouse than you do, or than you think you do, and so you try and split your spouse from the rest of his family. Or the rest of the family tries to split your spouse up from you.

This is whenever people make factions and try to get other people on their side. It can even happen in a Dharma centre. You may be jealous of somebody else, want more power, more control, want to look like a better Dharma student, or want a better reputation, so you put that somebody else down or tell his faults, or other negative actions. It is quite a serious thing, making unfounded accusations with the intention to divide people.

It can even happen if we get into a quarrel with somebody, and we tell our friends and want them to side with us against the other person. That is what friends are for, right? If they do not side with us, why are they our friends? So, we then go to our friends and say, “This person did blah, blah, blah, you side with me, right? Right. Good.” Now we both turn and aim our guns at this person. It may look like we are just sharing our troubles or venting, but in our mind, “I want somebody on my side against that person.”

It is fine to go to other people when we need to talk about our problems, but we should always say, “I’m coming to talk to you because I have a problem with anger. I’m not saying that any of this is the reality of who the other person is. But I want to talk with you because I need help working on my anger.” Present it that way.

Otherwise, we are doing what we did in sixth grade. Remember that? Get everybody on our side, then go on the playground and trash somebody else. Then everybody else bands together and trashes us. So, let us graduate from sixth grade. It is about time. Instead of using our speech to create disharmony, use it to repair relationships, deepen relationships that other parties have with each other, and create harmony amongst human beings.

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