Think about hating ourselves, and how we blame ourselves because a lot of people do this. If somebody criticised me, “Ugh, I really am hopeless. Of course, nobody loves me. Everything went wrong because of me. Nobody likes me. Nobody respects me.” What is that thing we said in grammar school? “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I will go eat some worms.”

We go into our room and have what I call a pity party. A party for how nobody understands me, how terrible I am, how hopeless the situation is, how everything is going down the drain. I put out my lead balloons and I sit there and suck my thumb and go, “Poor me! Poor me! Poor me!” That is instead of “Happy Birthday” it is “Poor me!” I just go into full-blown, “I am all alone. I am lonely. I do not fit in. The world is an awful place, and I am going to sit here and feel sorry for myself.” Does anybody here do that? I have a PhD in that. I can throw a really good pity party. I just sit there so miserable.

After I encountered the Dharma, I began to ask myself when I am having a pity party, “Who’s the star of the show? Me. Who is the pity party all about? Me. If I cannot be the best one, I am going to be the worst one. But somehow, I am special. I am so powerful that I can make everything go wrong. Nothing is dependent on causes and conditions anymore. I am the powerful one and because I am so stupid and such a jerk, I can make everything go wrong.”

Is that a little inflated? Can you really make everything go wrong? Am I really that awful that I can make everything go wrong? No. Even if I tried to make everything go wrong, I could not do it. It is not my fault. I am not a bad person. This is just my self-centred attitude going around and around in circles about me. Let us get rid of the self-centred attitude because it makes us miserable.

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