Harsh words disturb the minds of others and cause deterioration in a Bodhisattva’s conduct. Therefore, give up harsh words which are unpleasant to others. This is the practice of Bodhisattvas. 

Harsh words are motivated by harmful thoughts to put others down or humiliate them, make oneself look good, and vent one’s anger or internal turbulence. There are other motivations, but they all share an attitude that is more concerned with getting out whatever we want to say rather than how our speech affects others. Basically, it happens when our minds are under the influence of afflictions, and we just want to eliminate our tension by putting it out there. We have not thought about how to communicate our point effectively or what the other person’s interests and concerns may be. This disturbs others’ minds and causes them to back away from us or shut us out, which we can probably remember from our own experience of being on the receiving end of an unskilful speech. 

Uttering harsh words degenerates our conduct by interfering with our spiritual goals of cultivating impartial love and compassion and having an open and non-judgmental mind. Much of the reason why we speak harsh words is that we interpret the words that we hear as harsh, so it is always good to question our perceptions and whether we have understood the other person properly. Sometimes we hear just a little bit and immediately our mind goes into defensive mode, believing the other person is challenging, disrespecting, or mistrusting us. It can be helpful to look at our habitual ways of responding to certain kinds of speech so we can remain present in new situations instead of going into attack mode. Idle talk is also something to be attentive to and be aware of the topics we are talking about and the reasons that we are talking about. 

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