If somebody is telling me about some other people, “Oh they’re this and this,” I want to get to know them so I can see what they really are like. That is because in the religion I grew up with a lot of holy figures who had a lot of excellent qualities, but what I was really looking for was how to develop these qualities in me. Descriptions of people having miraculous abilities, superknowledge, or whatever, do not personally inspire faith in the Three Jewels because the religion I grew up with had lots of miracles. When I came to Buddhism, I wanted to know how it is possible to develop these qualities. If I knew how it was possible, then I could accept that the Buddha existed. How do you have altruistic love, compassion and equanimity for everybody? How in the world do you get your mind to be like that? Nobody had ever taught me how. I did not understand how that was possible.

I did not grow up in a Buddhist family, so I do not have the kind of instinctive faith that you often get from your childhood, but I wanted to know, “How do we know it’s possible to develop these qualities?” I will believe other people have them, and I believe I can gain those by practising that path, too. Without knowing that, why should I trust what they are saying, and why should I practise that path? Or at least why should I practise that path with a lot of vigour?

I remember in the early years I was going, “How do I know the Buddha really exists? Lots of people say so, but how do I know?” For me, the growth of faith I depended very much on was having some personal taste of the teachings. When I practised the antidotes to anger, self-centredness, or attachment, I saw that they had a positive effect on my mind and lessened my attachment, anger and selfishness. Even if it was just a little, that effect instilled faith in me — that the path worked and that little bit that I had practised worked. This helped me to think, “Maybe it is possible to become like the holy beings.” But it really took a lot of time. It started that way with my personal experience. And as I studied more, I began to understand the layout of the path, what the mind was, what the hindrances or obscuration to the mind were, and how those could be removed. This gave me much more confidence, faith and trust that there were holy beings and that there was a path that worked.

“365 Gems of Wisdom” e-book is out now!