June 16 : Giving Up Grasping

Think, therefore, upon seeing and hearing of others’ deaths, “I am no different, death will soon come, its certainty is no doubt, but no certainty as to when. I must say farewell to my body, wealth and friends, but good and bad deeds will follow like shadows.”

At the time of death, we must say farewell to our body, wealth and friends. Some people may say, “Hmm, that sounds kind of tough.” While to others, it poses no problem at all. Personally, I think it is tough. Just ask ourselves this: “Are we okay with giving up our body, wealth, friends and family?” No, we are not okay with that at all. We have a tremendous sense of possession, “These are mine and I need them. I want them. They’re my source of happiness and pleasure. I don’t want to give them up.”

This is our attitude in life. However, the phenomenon of death does not give us a choice. It says, “Whether you like it or not, it is time to give things up.” Then what do we do? Do we just wait until the moment of death comes and then deal with it? Or do we practise giving things up, and lessen our attachment now so that when the time of death comes it is not going to be a problem for us?

The great masters say, “Practise now.” Develop a heart of renunciation now. Here we are not talking about renouncing happiness. Buddhism is not about giving up happiness but finding a way to a stable state of happiness. What we are renouncing is dukkha, all the unsatisfactory things in life. When we do not see unsatisfactory things as unsatisfactory, and instead see them as the cause of happiness, problems occur for us. We have a very limited view of things.

Have you ever wondered, “Why do I have a body?” It is an interesting question. “How did I get this body? What does it mean to have a body?” We pamper our bodies to bits, but why do we have it in the first place? We do not usually ask that question. If we do, then we say, “Well, it’s who I am. You can’t separate me from my body. I am my body.” or “It’s my body and I’m in union-oneness with what’s mine.” We just assume that the body is always here and that our whole identity is based on this body. At the time of death, when we must separate from this body, the mind goes, “Ahhhh! Who am I going to be if I don’t have a body? My whole life I’ve spent with this body.”

Because of this intense grasping of wanting to exist, when we lose this body, our basis of existence, how do we solve the problem? We cling to another one. That is what ripens the karma that throws us into another rebirth. Cannot have this body anymore? Just grab another one. But we do not realise that as soon as we grab another body, we put ourselves in the same position that we are in now, which is to live with a compounded body that gets old, sick and dies.

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