September 14 : Exploder or Imploder

When we get angry at another person, we explode on that person, or we implode on ourselves. How many of you are exploders? How many of you are imploders? How many of you do both? There is usually one we do more than the other. When you get angry at another person, if you are an exploder, the solution is, “I’m right. You’re wrong. You change and nothing else is acceptable, because I’m right.” We will fight with the other person, have the last word and we will inflict our damage.

Sometimes we implode and we are mad at ourselves, but we are still mad at the other person too. This behaviour is very much where we hold it all in. We are mad. But instead of yelling, screaming, and throwing things, we disappear into the woodwork. We shrink. We back out. We close the door. “I do not want to talk to you. I am not going to talk to you. I am going to sit in my room and sulk because I am so mad. Who do they think they are talking to me like that? But maybe what they say is true. My feelings are so hurt. I am not going to talk to them. I hate them. They are so inconsiderate. They do not even care that I am so angry, and I am miserable. They do not care that they hurt my feelings. They are such awful people. They are deserving of my hatred.”

Sometimes when I get really angry at something or a situation, I do not explode nor implode, but I will go and talk about the situation with people whom I know will take on my view of things — who will reinforce my side of the story. Is that implosion or is that explosion?

It is a secretive way of explosion because what you are doing is to hurt that person. But the way you do it is by getting everybody else on your side. “The more people that I tell to, who agree with me about how awful that person was by doing that to me, then the righter I am and the more they are going to suffer because many others would not like them.”

Of course, they are off eating watermelon and lying at the beach living their life. We are busy getting all our duckies in a row. Getting ready for the battle which is only in our minds. We are the losers and we have already lost the war if we allow anger to rule.

“365 Gems of Wisdom” e-book is out now!