Right after my mother passed away, I got an email from my sister saying that my dad was feeling sad and guilty because he felt that he should have hugged and kissed my mom more before she died. It reminded me of when I was in the play “Our Town” in high school. In the last scene, Emily has died and gone to the afterlife and is looking back on the scenes of her everyday life. She is really feeling the poignancy of how people operate on automatic and take life for granted, “Here are the same people I see every day; they are always going to be there; they are just fixtures in my life.” So often we move past each other like robots until somebody dies. We look back and say, “Wow, I could have connected with that person more,” or “I could have been kinder to that person,” or “I could have shown more affection to that person.”

One of the purposes of the meditation on death is to help us continually bear our mortality in mind so that we are always on top of things and realise that when we are with somebody, it might be the last time. We would not take things for granted and we will pay more attention to what is going on in our life and the people in it instead of just moving along in a kind of ignorant stupor. When we have this kind of intention in our lives, we show our affection when it is appropriate and would not feel guilty if we do not because we have been mindful, thoughtful and conscientious of what we are doing. This kind of attentiveness also saves us from committing a lot of non-virtue and helps create a lot of virtue. Otherwise, if we just move through life with the intention of minimising pain or irritation, we are liable to experience a lot of shocks and regrets when a situation changes drastically, or people suddenly are not here anymore. It is important to always be on top of things in this way and think long-term when making decisions.

“365 Gems of Wisdom” e-book is out now!