March 11 : Confused Compassion
Sometimes our idea of compassion gets a little bit confused as fixing other people’s problems, so they do not suffer. That is not really it. First, we cannot really fix their problems. They must change their minds, and stop creating negative karma, or doing repeated behaviour that does not work. We can guide them, and we can influence them, but we cannot fix it for them. Sometimes people are not open to the help that we want to give, and if we push, it just backfires. We should keep the door open and wait until they request help.
Sometimes our “compassion” becomes a distraction from working on ourselves. We are so eager to fix other people and prevent their suffering that we do not look at our suffering, and we neglect to purify our minds. When we cannot see our suffering and we do not purify our minds and develop our good qualities, the amount of help and good we can do for other people gets vastly diminished. It is important to understand exactly what compassion is and how to develop it, and to use it properly so that it helps us and others.
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