In a recent newspaper article, there was one letter from a young gay man who said his father had suspected his homosexuality. The young man adamantly told his father he was not gay because his father had said that if his son were gay then he would no longer fund his college education, would kick him out of the house, and not speak to him again. Obviously, it is quite a threat, isn’t it? This young man was asking what the ethical thing is to do in this situation. I was quite surprised at the response.

Three different people responded. One of them said, “Your father is not doing his duty if he doesn’t send you to college because part of parental duty is to support the child’s education. If your father is threatening not to do his duty, you have every right to lie because you deserve that college education.” The other two people said something similar — not so much about the father doing his duty, but like “Why does going to college have to be such a traumatic thing, just go ahead and lie to your father, and after you finish college, tell him the truth and pay him back the money.”

I am not so sure about these answers because it promotes a culture of lying in our minds. I do not know about you, but when I lie, I do not feel good inside. I tried to lie when I was a kid, and I was a failure at it. I tried to lie to my parents, but I could not do it. I was able to cover things up by not telling them things I thought they did not need to know. I also kept my privacy and did not tell them things that were going to upset them. But I could not say purple when something was pink. I could not say “was” when it “was not”.

As for the young man, he is hiding by not telling his parents. On the other hand, he knows his parents better than I do. He is trying to protect his relationship, which is important. Eventually, his father is going to find out, isn’t he?

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