One of the ways that the self-centered mind manifests is in the judgmental and critical mind, the mind that looks at what other people are doing and say, “Why are they doing that? They should be doing this.”

It is easy for us to look at what other people are doing and judge them. Judging, in one way, does not feel so good because it is a negative state of mind, but the conclusion of judging is, “I am better than they are.” And that part feels good. It is a weird thing. “I am better because I am not doing that.” However the state of mind that likes to pick at people feels yucky.

What do we do with that kind of mind? When I see people doing things, I say, “This is none of my business.” What I have realised is that we pay attention very often to things that are none of our business, but for things that are our business; or when somebody obviously needs help, we do not pay attention. What we pay attention to in other people is not very consistent. “They are doing something so bad, look at what kind of people they are.” We pay attention to that. But when somebody is struggling to carry something, we walk right by them. When somebody is working very hard and has to meet a deadline, we just go home when we can, or when somebody is not feeling well, we think “Well, he can handle it thimself.”

It is funny how we pay attention to things that are not our business and we do not pay attention to where we can help. We should keep our energy inside and realise the only one we can actually control is ourselves. We can learn from observing others, but it is not our business unless there is the chance to stop somebody from creating negative karma, harming somebody else, or if somebody genuinely needs help. I then remind myself, “Let us not pay attention to things that are not my business and try and look with an eye of care on others and see what I can do that would be helpful.”

What I find more helpful is to admit that I could have also done that very action which I am judging others of, or I could very possibly have done it in this life. We have done everything. We cannot really look at somebody else and say, “Well I would never do that.” As long as we have afflictions in our minds, we could. Very often the things we notice in other people are what we do not like in ourselves. We are quite tuned into those qualities in ourselves, so it is easy to pick them out in other people. I find it helpful to say, “Well, that’s what I look like when I’m doing that.” Instead of having a microscope focusing on the other person, it is having a mirror that is reflecting on myself, “How do I look when I’m doing that, do I want to be that kind of person?” Clearly, no. Let us learn from watching what this other person is doing, take that and change ourselves. I find that something very helpful to think about.

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